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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?